Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The GOP Really, Really Wants to Know What You Think, Iraq: Staying the Course, China: Taking Our Place and Air Force Wants to Test it's Weapons on You

The Republicans have long said that they want to get government out of people's lives. But Republicans say a lot of things that aren't true.

Today Senate Republicans blocked an attempt to rein in Bush's wiretapping of the American people.

Score one more for the folks who don't believe in our Constitution.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Senate Republicans blocked Democratic attempts to rein in
President Bush's domestic wiretapping program Wednesday amid a sustained White
House campaign to give the administration broad authority to monitor,
interrogate and prosecute terrorism suspects.

We finally have some of that good news out of Iraq. In order to prove that our security crackdown in Baghdad is really working, those military geniuses at the Pentagon and the White House have come up with an effective and simple solution to reduce civilian casualties. You're gonna love this. They have decided to no longer count as casualties anyone killed by bombs, or mortars, or rockets, or suicide attacks. This new, brilliant strategy has cut the civilian casualty figures in half. And you thought spending most of our budget on the military was a waste.

BAGHDAD -- The American military did not count people killed by bombs,
mortars, rockets or other mass attacks, including suicide bombings, when it
reported a dramatic drop in the number of murders in the Baghdad area last
month, the U.S. command said Monday.

The decision to include only victims of drive-by shootings and those killed
by torture and execution, usually at the hands of death squads, allowed U.S.
officials to argue that a security crackdown that began in the capital Aug. 7
had more than halved the city's murder rate.

Victory in Iraq is just around the corner, now that we have the capital under control. Just yesterday, there were only 100 civilians murdered, a sure sign that Bush's democratization of the Middle East is on track and moving forward at an astounding pace. Latest estimates show that we may be able to start bringing troops home as soon as 2050. Stay the course!

BAGHDAD, Sept. 13 -- Nearly 100 people were killed or found dead in a series of
bloody incidents throughout the Iraqi capital over the past 24 hours,
authorities said.
At least 62 unidentified bullet-riddled corpses--all
bearing signs of torture--have been found throughout the city since Tuesday
night, said Brig. Gen. Abdullah Mahmood of the Interior Ministry


Just one more sign of how well our Iraq plans are working out is the good-natured, horseplay now taking place between the citizens of Baghdad and the authorities. George Bush is truly a leader with great vision.

BAGHDAD, Sept. 12 -- As an angry crowd gathered Tuesday morning, the young
man stepped out of a gray Mercedes poised for battle. Across Abu Nawas Street,
his tin-roofed shop lay crumpled like a run-over trash can. He knew whom to
He glared at some policemen and said: "Today, I'm going to kill one
of you. You will never stop until I kill one of you."

"Stop," a policeman yelled as the man got back in his car and sped away.
Another policeman fired a shot in his direction. Moments later, white pickup
trucks brimming with men in blue police uniforms and black bulletproof vests
sped up the street and screeched to a halt in front of a small kiosk. Some wore
They jumped out and began firing AK-47 assault rifles. Bullets flew toward
the sky and down the street, sending dozens of bystanders, including women and
children, scrambling for cover. The gunfire reached a jackhammer pitch


George Bush, not only a great war president, but also a man that can bring unity to a troubled region. How lucky we are.

And it's not just Iraq that is benefiting from our President's great vision. Our friends in China, who already practice a great form of media control have decided to copy the type of media control that we have used so successfully in Iraq.

BEIJING, Sept. 12 -- Journalism and human rights groups on Tuesday blasted
China's efforts to further control the distribution of news and financial
information by foreign news agencies, saying revised regulations showed that the
government was tightening censorship.

And thanks to the progressive leadership of Bush and the Republican congress, Americans are more and more being spared the drudgery of working in dirty factories. Thanks to them, more and more Americans are being employed in clean, air-conditioned Wal-Mart stores. How lucky can we get.

Pity the poor Chinese who now have to do these jobs.

And in case of a major war, the Pentagon can now just go down the street to Wal-Mart to buy all the armaments that we are no longer able to produce. And the best thing is all the money we'll save, because Wal-Mart will be getting them from China real cheap. And if they don't work, we can bring them back. What a county!

SHANGHAI -- Hunched over clattering machinery, the 170 workers at a factory here
churn out gleaming pistons for auto engines by the crateful, driven by surging
demand from abroad. To hear managers at Shanghai Datong Automotive Industrial
Co. tell it, their success overseas is due to efficiency and rock-bottom costs.
"Our technology is good, our wages are low and materials are abundant," said Jin
Zhangfu, the plant's manufacturing supervisor.

But in the American heartland towns where auto parts makers are struggling to
survive, an entirely different explanation -- China's cheap currency -- is
proffered for the competitiveness of companies such as Shanghai Datong. Such
complaints are expected to get high-level attention in coming days as the
administration's new Treasury secretary visits Asia.

And should anyone be foolish enough not to realize just how lucky we are, the Secretary of the Air Force has a plan.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Nonlethal weapons such as high-power microwave devices should
be used on American citizens in crowd-control situations before being used on
the battlefield, the Air Force secretary said Tuesday.

November's coming. Let's get these jerks outta there.

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I did not mean that Conservatives are generally stupid; I meant, that stupid persons are generally Conservative. I believe that to be so obvious and undeniable a fact that I hardly think any hon. Gentleman will question it.

John Stuart Mill (May 20 1806 – May 8 1873)