Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Right Wing Analysis 101: There Will Be a Test.

I really don't believe in pounding someone when they're down, however, considering all the trouble they've caused this country and since they are practically writing this post, why not?
Once again we'll delve into the twisted psyche of the Right and see just what kind of fun stuff we can come up with.
To be fair, we have to keep in mind that the Right is experiencing extremely high stress at the moment. They're still shellshocked from the 2008 election, only 21% of the population will admit to being Republican and Sen. Arlen Specter has left the Titanic. Thrown overboard is closer to the truth.
So, let's talk about Specter and the Right's reaction to his joining their nemesis.
“I would rather have 30 Republicans in the Senate who really believe in principles of limited government, free markets, free people, than to have 60 that don’t have a set of beliefs.”— Sen. Jim DeMint, R-SC
“Guess now that Larry Craig is gone & Specter realized there was no teabagging at the teaparty, he had to go Dem for Frank to fondle him.”— founder Erick Erickson, on Twitter.
“RINO Specter is the first to go! He knows that we conservatives are taking back the party and there’s simply no room for him. He’s just showing his true colors and being what he has been all along: a DEMOCRAT!!!!!! Now, if we could only dump Snowe and Collins….”a Free Republic poster
“I think the threat to the country presented by this defection really relates to the issue of whether or not in the United States of America our people want the majority to have whatever it wants, without restraint, without a check or a balance…. This is not a national story, this is a Pennsylvania story.”— Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell
That's right Senator, the majority of the country want the majority party to have whatever it wants. You don't have to worry about checks and balances, that's our job and we'll do it.
Check out the comments at the bottom of the above article to see how the Right's rank and file handle adversity.
The Right's philosophical leader, the venerated Rush Limbaugh doesn't see it as a defection, but rather an ideological cleansing of his party.
"A lot of people say, 'Well, Specter, take [Sen. John] McCain with you. And his daughter [Meghan]. Take McCain and his daughter with you if you're gonna…" he told listeners, dissolving in laughter.
"…..It's ultimately good. You're weeding out people who aren't really Republicans," he said.
I remember when Rush ragged Chelsea Clinton, now Meghan McCain. You know, I really don't think that Rush cares much for girls.
While Rush was trying to keep his party pure, other right wing commentators were busy planting the notion of Swine Flu being introduced into this country by illegal aliens into their fertile yet empty minds. Of course, that's the only possible explanation.
Despite the fact that there is no evidence to support such claims, talk radio hosts Michael Savage and Neal Boortz, radio and Fox TV personality Glenn Beck, and columnist Michelle Malkin are spreading them faster than the contagion.

"Illegal aliens are bringing in a deadly new flue strain. Make no mistake about it," blares Michael Savage.

"I've blogged for years about the spread of contagious diseases from around the world into the US as a result of uncontrolled immigration," writes Michelle Malkin.

"What happens if there's a rash of deaths in Mexico... and if you're a family in Mexico and people are dying and Americans are not, why wouldn't you flood this border?" announces Glenn Beck.
Oh! But wait, there's an even more logical explanation.
"What better way to sneak a virus into this country than to give it to Mexicans....then spread a rumor there there are construction jobs here, and there they come," blathers Boortz.

Savage — "make no mistake about it" — believes that radical Islamic countries planted the virus in Mexico knowing that humans make the "perfect mules for bringing the strain into America."
Don't you just love well thought out and rational discourse?
Bonnie Fuller answers them point by point in her article that I stole these quotes from.
Specter's not the only Republican that the Right may decide that needs to be cleansed.
WASHINGTON – Sen. Richard Lugar, R-Ind., said Tuesday he will support the nomination of an Indiana University law professor to head the Obama administration’s internal law office.
Some Republicans have promised to try to block Johnsen’s confirmation either because of her support for abortion rights or because she criticized the legal justification used by the Bush administration for the torture of detainees.
OMG! The head of the Excutive Branch law office actually following the law? Well, we know that concept is just way too radical for the staid Right. No wonder they think the Left is crazy.
Despite all of the above, we know that the Right stands firm on whatever they consider principles, which, BTW, I believe still have about a day left on the bidding over at e-bay. When a Republican says something it's etched in stone.
While the stimulus was being debated in January, House Minority Whip Eric Cantor called a group of reporters into his office to outline the GOP's objections. As we filed in, we walked past a giant poster ridiculing Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) for allegedly pushing for high-speed rail connecting Disneyland and Las Vegas.

On NBC's "Meet the Press," Cantor called that project an example of "waste and pork-barrel spending."
Asked about high-speed rail at a recent local event in Virginia, Cantor was all thumbs up. "If there is one thing that I think all of us here on both sides of the political aisle from all parts of the region agree with, it's that we need to do all we can to promote jobs here in the Richmond area," Cantor said of the high-speed rail.
No wonder the Right's base is confused, I know I am.
Now we will go from the questionably sane members of the Right to a couple that there's no question about.
The image at the top is the Twitter posts from this guy.
An Oklahoma City man who announced on Twitter that he would turn an April 15 tax protest into a bloodbath was hit with a federal charge of making interstate threats last week, in what appears to be first criminal prosecution to stem from posts on the microblogging site.

Daniel Knight Hayden, 52, was arrested by FBI agents who identified him as the Twitter user CitizenQuasar. In a series of tweets beginning April 11, CitizenQuasar vowed to start a “war” against the government on the steps of the Oklahoma City Capitol building, the site of that city’s version of the national “Tea Party” protests promoted by the conservative-leaning Fox News.
Hayden’s MySpace page is a breathtaking gallery of right wing memes about the “New World Order,” gun control as Nazi fascism, and Barack Obama’s covert use of television hypnosis, among many others.
I really don't understand this guy, we have television and the internet in Oklahoma, hell, some houses even have indoor plumbing, so there's really no excuse for this.
But I think this will make him a frontrunner for Sarah Palin's running mate in the 2012 election. Palin/Quasar, it'll sure look good on your bumper.
I tried to see if I recognized anyone on his friends list, but it's kinda hard since we all kinda tend to look alike in Oklahoma.
Unlike Citizen Quasar, this next guy was just kinda bummed out about Obama getting elected. So, he whacked a couple of deputies. He'll have to do better than that to get the Glenn Beck decoder ring.
An offense report filed against Cartwright the day he died outlines an angry husband who threatened his wife, kept guns and knives on hand, was "severely disturbed" that Barack Obama had been elected president, and believed the U.S. government was conspiring against him.
I was going to save this groundbreaking conclusion for the last, but for some reason I'm putting here, probably hoping it will segue into the next item.
The Right has a tenuous grasp of reality. Shocking, huh?
Ohio State University has done a study and found that the folks on the Right actually think Stephen Colbert is serious and is making fun of the Left. Very, very tenuous.
"Our results aren't that conservatives don't get the joke. It's that how you see the joke depends on who you are," says Kristen Landreville, a PhD student in communications at Ohio State University and one of three co-authors. "If you're conservative, you think the joke's on liberals because he's openly making fun of liberals."
And they think the country would be better off with them in charge.
The right may be down, but they're by no means out. They have a cunning plan.
Washington, D.C. (April 28, 2009) – As the White House and Congressional leaders seek to move the country dramatically left, some of America’s most prominent conservative leaders, strategists, academic voting behavior experts and professional pollsters have come together to form Resurgent Republic, an independent, not-for-profit organization that aims to shape the debate over the proper role of government. More giveaways to Big Business and the rich.

Resurgent Republic will promote market-oriented policies, deregulation lower taxes and economic growth, for Big Biz and the rich and strong national security policies. open the doors of the treasury to defense contractors It will help policy makers, think tanks, interest groups and others advocate for policies that are consistent with conservative principles, and oppose policies that stifle job creation, weaken national security and undermine values that have made America a great country. eight more years of Bush or putting lipstick on a pig---no, not Limbaugh in drag
So, let's review:
What have we learned about the Right, it's inhabitants and it's policies?
If you used any form of the words Bat Guano, you get an A.
Have your educational institution contact me to get that put on your transcript, Right Wing Analysis 101.


  1. WOO HOO! I get an A++++. I think I said soem variant of bat guano, batshit or super-batshit just about all through that blog. GREAT POST!!! You don't post very often but when you do you're clear, concise and on target. Keep up the fantastic work.

    PS--I know this is logically flawed, but I'm gonna ask anyway: since you're from Oklahoma, are you a fan of The Flaming Lips? lol

  2. Rush wants to make sure that a "big tent" party has no more room than a backyard sleepover by the time he gets rid of everyone he disagrees with.

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I did not mean that Conservatives are generally stupid; I meant, that stupid persons are generally Conservative. I believe that to be so obvious and undeniable a fact that I hardly think any hon. Gentleman will question it.

John Stuart Mill (May 20 1806 – May 8 1873)