OK, let's check out an e-mail I received, subject Hillary & Slick Willy.
This is a long one and it gives us a ton of Fantasyland Facts.
Don't let this give you the impression that I support Hillary Clinton for president. I just don't like seeing garbage represented as fact. And that applies across the board.
The e-mail is in bold.
HILLARY & SLICK WILLY
~PLEASE REMEMBER THIS WHEN HILLARY RUNS FOR PRESIDENT~
REMEMBER THIS FOREVER -- It is worse than you thought and remembered and well worth reading.
P.S. This was written by a Democrat.
Things are really going bad for you when your credibility is so low that you have to claim it was written by the enemy.
Dear Mr. Ex-President Clinton: I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my "Thank you" for what you have done, specifically:
Ah, specifics. Then it must be accurate.
1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick. Did I leave anyone out?
True, but I don't remember him giving them any taxpayer money or losing any troops because of them.
I remember them introducing themselves, usually surrounded by a lot of Republicans.
2. Thank you for teaching my 8-year old about oral sex. I had really planned to wait until he was a little older to discuss it with him, but now he knows more about it than I did as a senior in college.
Bob Jones University?
Since keeping an eye on your own kid is your responsibility I won't give you credit for blaming Bill Clinton for your son's sex education.
When my son was about seven, he came knocking on my bathroom door. "Daddy, what's a dildo?" I couldn't help but laugh. Him and his nine year old sister were watching something on BBC and she sent him to ask. I told him, he told his sister and I have something I'll remember from now on.
3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially the White House) and on the job is okay, and all you have to know is what the meaning of "it" is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the other one does NOT have sex.
As for the rest of it, it leaves the impression that who ever wrote this has a very limited experience in the subject. For example, when your partner grimaces and shouts "What is that?!". You had better come up with a damned good explanation of what it is.
Masturbation is a sexual act, but I wouldn't consider it sex.
And it's certainly possible when two people are getting it on, that one of them may not be involved. Just ask any wife.
I'll take another one, 'cause after all these years I'm tired of hearing Republicans whine about Clinton's sex life. Especially since we've been lied into a war for no purpose and the economy's in the crapper.
The Right has strange priorities.
4. Thank you for re-introducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag the Dog" could be plausible after all.
Yeah, who'd ever heard of impeachment before Bill Clinton. If you check, I believe that you will find that, in fact, the Republicans brought up the whole impeachment idea. And what did the impeachment proceedings accomplish? Clinton's approval ratings jumped 10 points to 73%. Most Americans felt that impeaching a pretty good president over lying about a blow job was just ridiculous.
The Wag the Dog theory might be sound a little more plausible if Clinton had actually started a war for no good reason. But who'd be stupid enough to do that?
5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look moral.
Jimmy Carter was pretty competent, and still is.
I have disagreements with some things that President Clinton did, but to call Bill Clinton incompetent is absurd.
If you really want to drive the point home, replace all the names above with George W. Bush.
6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have plead the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democratic campaign fund raising.
22 people were convicted. A lot of them were friends of Clinton and Gore. Bill Clinton was never charged with anything to do with Chinagate.
Still there were Democrats engaged in activity that was neither lawful or ethical. Point for the Right.
7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonment's from the Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals.
Actually 14 people were convicted in the Whitewater investigation. Bill and Hillary Clinton were cleared of any wrongdoing by the independent council.
But since you want to be specific, exactly one Clinton Administration official was indicted or convicted. That was Wes Hubbell who was convicted on an embezzlement charge committed before he joined the Clinton Administration.
Here's some more specifics.
* nine Bush administration officials fall under the “indicted/convicted/pled guilty” category;
* 13 Bush administration officials fall under the “resigned due to investigation” category;
* and three Bush administration nominees “failed due to scandal.”
The Bush numbers are a year old.
* Number of Reagan administration era convictions in the Iran-contra scandal: 14 (two overturned on appeal).
* Number of Reagan officials convicted for illegal lobbying: 2 (Michael Deaver; Lyn Nofziger, overturned on appeal).
* Number of Reagan officials convicted in Housing and Urban Development scandal: 16.
* Total number Reagan era convictions: 32
8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of our foreign policy, and flying all over the world on "vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips.
Clinton did cut back on military spending, but he didn't reduce the military by 50%. In fact the military spending was cut more in Daddy Bush's four years than it was in Clinton's eight years.
If you choose to deal in facts rather than right-wing myth making, the president who has done the most harm to our military is currently sitting in the White House.
I have no idea what "gutting most our foreign policy" means. But if it was foreign policy left over from the first Bush Administration, if he gutted it, that was probably a good thing. I do have some idea of where the U.S. stands in world opinion now, compared to the Clinton Administration.
China has a better image than us now. Whatever you think of Bill Clinton's foreign policy, it had to be better than what we have now.
Vacations? OK, let's talk about vacations.
President Jimmy Carter (D) Georgia:
79 Days (over 1 term - 4 years)
President Ronald Reagan (R) California:
335 days (over 2 terms - 8 years)
President George H. W. Bush (R) Texas:
543 days (over 1 term - 4 years)
President William J. Clinton (D) Arkansas:
152 days (over 2 terms - 8 years)
President George W. Bush (R) Texas:
250 days (as of Aug. '03, less than one term!)
As of last August Barbara's little cowboy has spent 418 days on vacation.
9 Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of dollars (I really didn't need it in the first place, and I can't think of a more deserving group of recipients for my hard-earned tax dollars) for all of your globe-trotting. I understand you, the family and your cronies have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any other administration.
I have no idea of what "finding" millions of dollars is in reference to. But Bill's made about $40 million in speaking fees over the last six years.
Clinton's logged more time on Air Force One than any other administration. Well except for George W. Bush.
10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin society. (Not to mention the scores you pardoned while Governor of Arkansas)
Does the Right really believe that people are simple enough to think that Bill Clinton is unique among presidents when it comes to pardons? Hell, Bush has pardoned 113 so far and they had served their sentences. He also commuted Scooter Libby's sentence before he could turn on the White House for outing a covert CIA agent.
11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware. I'm sure that Laura Bush didn't like the pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts you've received from your "friend."
Both claims are just wrong. No silverware was stolen and there was no destruction to government property by the outgoing Clinton Administration.
Ditto on the housewarming gifts.
12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White House for vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out. I also appreciate removing all of that excess weight (China, silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap, pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1. The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel. Thank you!
Keep repeating it and people will accept it for fact. Well the people who'd vote for Bush will believe anything. Same as above, No Truth in Clinton White House Vandal Scandal, GSA Reports.
13. Please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar advance for her "tell-all" book and you, Bill, the $10 million advance for your memoirs. Who says crime doesn't pay!
I'm sure they will enjoy the money for their books, I would.
What crimes? It must be Right Wing Fantasyland crimes. In the real world, when someone has been investigated as much as Bill and Hil has, if there were crimes committed, we'd know about it.
14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners." However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released. Thus, Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the U.S. by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the U.S. from all later reports. Why shouldn't Americans know the real truth?
It must be fun to live in Right Wing Fantasyland, where you can change reality like the rest of us change socks.
Needless to say, all the above is not true, it's not even close.
I want to thank Snopes.com for the great job they do at sifting the diamonds from the dunghill.
Claim: A convicted terrorist released by Israel at the insistence of the United States participated in the September 11 terrorist attacks on America.
What a guy!!
If you agree that the American public must be made aware of these facts, please pass this on. THANK YOU (once again) for spending my taxes so wisely and frugally.
SINCERELY, A U.S. Citizen
PS. Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore for "inventing" the Internet, without which I would not be able to send this wonderful, factual e-mail.
You would think that by now everyone would know that Al Gore never claimed that he invented the Internet. But Right Wing Fantasyland is where people go to escape the fact that they can't handle the truth.
And wait, there's more.
AND THE REST OF THE STORY: Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under the "Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan," which means that even if she never gets reelected, she STILL receives her Congressional salary until she dies. (Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension eligible after only 4 years?)
If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies. He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary outlives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that? WE DO!
It's common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY residency, they purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua, New York. Makes sense. They are entitled to Secret Service protection for life. Still makes sense.
Here is where it becomes interesting. Their mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month. BUT, an extra residence HAD to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service agents.
The Clinton's charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent for the use of that extra residence, which is just about equal to their mortgage payment. This means that we, the taxpayers, are paying the Clinton's salary, mortgage, transportation, safety and security, as well as the salaries for their 12 man staff -- and, this is all perfectly legal!
When she runs for President, will you vote for her?
How many people can YOU send this to?
WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!
This last one has been floating around the net since 2001. Is it true? Of course not.
But there are tons of people who receive this crap and just take it for face value. Are they simple? Yes. Are they gullible? Yes. Do they vote? Yes. Are they the reason that we've had an idiot for president the last seven years? Yes.
See the problem?